As if it’ difficult to tell, I’m in a rut again.
I go through these every so often. This one has been especially bad, and I haven’t even been writing much short stroke work as Reject Reality.
I’ve been fiddling with a few things here and there, but nothing has really been coming to fruition. I keep hitting roadblocks when I do get some writing done, but most often, I can’t write more than a few paragraphs before I’m drained of motivation.
Depression is a bitch.
No, I’m not medicated, nor will I ever be. I’ve seen too much of what happens with my wife to ever even consider that.
I still make it in to work and function. What I lose is my creative drive and my capacity for enjoying things. While that’s disheartening, it’s not life threatening. I just try doing other things until something wakes up my spark again.
That’s what I’m doing now. As always, apologies to anyone waiting for the next chapter/story.
I have personal experience with depression (though it was a very short duration, and caused by a foolish series of decisions I made — never stop taking ADHD medication abruptly, because it WILL cause depression), and I have personal experience with an extremely lost, fickle, and haughty muse. (I think she likes hiding in the recesses of my mind, because I don’t know where the hell she is most of the time.)
What really kept me going was finding ‘enjoyment’ in something I could do — even if all it amounted to was really ‘I don’t have to deal with troubles for a few hours while I play a game’ or ‘I can lose myself in this book for a bit’. It helped keep me sane (well, mostly; we’re all a bit insane really).
As an fyi, if you were unaware, small doses of medicinal marijuana can act as strong antidepressants (though higher doses can, and WILL, make it worse), and it dissipates from your body very rapidly. I cannot speak from personal experience on this point, having never taken or used anything which was not prescribed to me, but I do know some people who used it for that purpose, and they seem fine to me now.
If it’s legal where you live, I’d suggest at least giving it a chance.
Good luck to you, and I hope your spark flashes through the fog soon.
(And if you need to find some good, plot-heavy, fantasy-driven action to read, (with plenty of sex), I recommend Etaski’s work. Hope you like drow.)
You can probably see my Salvatore influence in places ( Chapters 9 & 10 of Danica, for example ) so I’m quite fond of Drow.
I’ve noticed Etaski for sure. Haven’t gotten around to reading any of them yet, but they’re certainly on my radar.
As to weed, the smell of it makes me horribly nauseous LOL Used to have to point three fans blowing away from my room when my friends would smoke up.
Hell, a couple of weeks ago when I had a horrible sinus infection was the first time in my life I’ve ever taken prescription pain medication outside of being in the hospital ( admitted only twice ). They gave me something with codeine and Vicoden for “breakthrough” pain. The lesser one made me feel so loopy that there was no way in hell I was touching that Vicoden. Fortunately, the other stuff killed the pain completely. Only took it for about three days until the swelling went down.
I’ve more or less learned that the best therapy is to walk away from writing. Play a video game, watch a movie/television series, or something like that. I’ve been trying different things this time, but none have had that “click”
Though obviously, my posting today indicates that the documentary “Never Sleep Again” about Nightmare on Elm street gave me a little bit of a boost. Think I may have to watch the whole Nightmare series again.
I’m having flashes of creativity, but when I’ve opened Wordperfect, it’s not yet translating into stories that flow, so I’ve been closing it again. Fighting one of these slumps is the absolute WORST way to combat it for me. So, when nothing is flowing, I walk away before I get frustrated. Then I just keep trying every so often until it works.
I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I had no idea who ‘Salvatore’ was off the top of my head, so I had to look him up.
Now I get it.
So, no, I hadn’t seen his influence before… but, yeah, I do now 🙂
I know that Etaski mentioned that she uses music to help her write, and, while I know that what works for one person may not work for another (of which I am living proof, or I’d be done with at least 3 books by now =/ ), it’s not like it can hurt anything, right?
Actually, I’ve got a plethora of other things you could read (when you get time, of course), and while the majority of them are Lit. authors (whom I’d be more than happy to provide links for, if you want), one in particular is not.
Eric Brown
http://www.amazon.com/Eric-Brown/e/B0034P7AE2/
He’s an excellent writer, his books are very fairly priced (most <$10), and the stories will suck you in like you wouldn't believe.
Also, he's significantly easier to 'get into' than the Dune series, though still just as gifted.
Oddly, the ‘flashes of creativity that don’t translate fully’ sounds a hell of a lot like my experience with writing, except that I haven’t ever managed to progress beyond it. I get a short period of time when I seem to be able to write incredibly well, and then kaputsky. Then I look at what I came up with, and realize I’d have to rework a bunch of my existing ‘canon’ to make it work, and it snowballs from there, basically…
Moving on…
You, on the other hand, know you can do well, so for you it’s just a matter of finding the right ‘pick’ to open the mind’s vault.
Best of luck to you.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to start looking for that subcogitaneous implant I stuck in my muse the last time she showed up…